The Vermont Cynic

How to take control of your sex life: reflect and repeat

NOAH ZHOU

Izzy Abraham

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Sometimes a hookup happens so quickly that we don’t take the time to reflect.

I think it’s important now more than ever that we, meaning everyone, reflect on our sexual encounters.

It’s important to maintain healthy self-talk, to reflect often and to reflect on ideas other than sex and romance.

However, let’s start focusing and reflecting especially on our sexual experiences.

The hookup culture so prevalent among young people, especially among college students, pushes hooking up as the only option for romantic encounters.

Thus, there is no other option now than to reflect on hookups to determine what is best for ourselves.

Hopefully, you start an ongoing internal dialogue now concerning your likes, dislikes, and other preferences.

Sociologists and other social scientists have found that casual sexual encounters can have incredibly positive mental and physical outcomes. According to a 2014 Sage Journals study, if people are open to it, casual sex can be enjoyable.

Yet as a result of an unpleasant sexual encounter, there can also be grave and unappealing mental and physical outcomes.

A significant number of people will find that they have had at least one unpleasant sexual experience, according to this study by sociologists Claxton and Van Dulmen.

This can result in a range of negative emotional outcomes.

Perhaps, plain and simple, people found that these encounters just weren’t enjoyable.

Maybe they don’t want to hookup with anyone at all, at least not right now.

Sex provokes a lot of questions. “What do I want to result from this hook up? What does it mean if we hook up?”

These questions can be too uncomfortable to discuss, or too uncomfortable to think about.

If that’s the case for you, maybe right now isn’t the best time to be hooking up.

Today, we live in a society that pushes hooking up.

People do it at parties, on the weekend, during the week, after class, before class, constantly.

It is perfectly acceptable to do this. In fact, it’s quite normal.

However, it’s also more than acceptable to remove yourself from the pressures of hooking up.

You may not have heard this one before, but it’s okay to hookup or to not hookup.

According to a research study by sociological researchers Fielder and Carey, casual hookups in college are rampantly popular.

Up to 81 percent of all college students have had at least one casual sexual encounter.

It’s all too easy to hookup, but that’s not necessarily a reason to do it.

I am certainly not here to discourage you from hooking up with whoever.

However, I am proposing that sex can be scary and hooking up can be uncomfortable.

But it shouldn’t be.

Hooking up should be something you do based on your choices, something that is enjoyable and comfortable.

And if it’s not, or it’s not a challenge you feel like conquering right now, you need to know that that’s okay, too.

1 Comment

One Response to “How to take control of your sex life: reflect and repeat”

  1. ethicalthing on December 17th, 2018 2:16 am

    Enjoying sex is one reason to have hookups, since Fwbdr is for FWB casual hookup, good sex experience seeking is an priority for people who use it.

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How to take control of your sex life: reflect and repeat