These past few weeks, I’ve slowly come to recognize that I don’t know where I belong anymore.

As an international student, when I first left Spain, it was difficult. I was incredibly eager about coming to the U.S., but at the same time, I had to face the idea of leaving my life behind.

I realized that I wouldn’t see my friends every day. I wouldn’t see my parents at home. Most importantly, I knew that my daily life would completely shift.

When I set foot on that plane, I was excited about everything: being completely independent, going to a new place and redoing my whole life in the span of a few months. 

But when I arrived, the first week was a complete rollercoaster of emotions. I felt the weight of culture shock and was all alone. 

Having mental breakdowns by yourself with a six-hour time difference from the people you love is quite an interesting experience to overcome. 

I know everything I’m talking about sounds quite extreme, but let me remind you of the first sentence of this column: “I don’t know where I belong anymore.”

This was all a first week thing, because the moment the second week began, everything felt like a fever dream in the best of ways.

I met new people, went to different places, tried new foods and experienced new things every day.

With the passing of time, I found my comfort people, a spot where I enjoy being alone and a snack that I love having late at night. 

Then some weeks go by, and all of a sudden, it struck me: I’ve built a whole new life in a completely different place from where I grew up; where my family is, where my friends wait for me.

Now, people from all over the world are my friends, my dorm is my home and enjoying snacks with my roommate and talking about our day is a nightly ritual. 

I made new memories in new places that I didn’t even know existed. And I went through highs and lows with people who are now almost like family. 

And all of a sudden, I found myself in a new home, in a new “daily life.” 

But that made me feel like I don’t know where I belong anymore, because life in my home country now feels almost surreal. 

But my heart, friends and life are there. 

And my life here will feel surreal when I go back to my home country. 

Because my heart, friends and life are also there. 

So now, I don’t know where I belong anymore.

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