In All Seriousness

To the Editor:

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the UVM president, residential life, and police services.

As of this year, many of my less scholastic peers have been shipped off to detox for their “safety,” and several more have been ejected from the school entirely to “save” the rest of us from their vile, fun-loving, Saturday night-partying ways. Thanks UVM.

Last year, I entered UVM as a freshman, hoping to spend all of my time studying, drinking pop, and watching PG-13 movies.

Unfortunately, many of my peers feel differently about what UVM should be.

They feel like doing nothing but studying; to them, acting wholesome is kinda boring, and they desire to have more “typical” college student fun.

They like to drink beer and go out to parties where there may be loud music, maybe even with heavy bass.

Shame on them.

However, last year’s gloriously corporate and police protected “420” celebration marked a turnaround for this great university.

Since then, “fun” has been on the steady decline, and those raucous parties are finally being put to a stop.

Furthermore, the menace of students walking around Burlington at night is being curtailed, thankfully, by the UVM police’s vigorous application of breathalyzers.

Maybe soon we will all be safe from all that noise, youth and energy.

I hope things are going to continue just as they are.

Soon the streets will be safe for babies and old women at all hours of the night, and all signs of adolescent rebelliousness will be squashed by the forces of law and order.

Julian Brizzi

Class of 2005