Sometimes holding your tongue is better than telling the truth.

People need to stop priding themselves on not having a filter. The “I don’t owe anyone anything” mindset has taken our generation by storm. 

If you search that phrase, you’ll come across a sea of think pieces, self-help books like Caroline McGraw’s “You Don’t Owe Anyone Anything,” a life-coaching book on making decisions without regard to how others around you feel as well as an interesting Reddit thread on the harm of living by this phrase. 

This idea is a cop-out for selfish behavior. The phrase, “you don’t owe anyone anything,” is just one example of the internet’s overuse of talk-therapy affirmations, according to an Oct. 2024 column from Trinity News. 

I understand the benefits of this mindset: feeling like you don’t need to smile just because a man told you to, being comfortable wearing your personal style or just not conforming to traditional social rules. 

The idea of living one’s truth seems to have been conflated with confronting people at inappropriate times or making unsolicited comments about appearances, relationships, etc. 

Social media has made it easy to leave harsh comments without repercussions. Our phones have become an integral part of our lives, almost like extensions of ourselves. They’re a symbol of comfort to us, according to a May 2020 Science Daily study.

By having a device on us 24/7, phones have essentially become a part of our being. Having a constant outlet for sharing our thoughts has made it much easier to express ideas traditionally kept internal. 

The real-life consequences faced from sharing thoughts online are few and far between.

However, this has spilled over into in-person communication. In my own life, I’ve seen my friends confront each other in very aggressive and intrusive ways, similar to how one would vent on social media. 

Being so blatantly honest can put other people off of being receptive to criticism and hard truths. Sometimes it’s better not to say anything. 

Bottom line: think before you speak and know your audience. Start the work now before you become the person disguising hurtful comments as “needed advice” to the people around you.

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