Operation: Valentine’s Day for Sports Fans

In a recent conversation with a colleague of mine a subject was brought up that brought fear into his eyes and made him break out in a cold sweat.

This conversation had nothing to do with Sammy Haggar trying to do another album with Van Halen but it was all about Valentines Day.

I watched my friend curl up into a ball and start to pull his hair out which gave me the idea to make readers and sports fans aware of how they can survive the dreaded day.

First, since V-Day falls on a Friday this year, it opens up a world of potential for date locations.

Take that special someone to a hockey game where crowd, must and wooden benches of Gutterson Arena set the romantic mood by itself.

This is a perfect excuse so you can see the game and act like it is intended to be a fun date.

What to wear though? Is what you are asking yourself all week long.

Make sure you remember to politely decline when your roommate asks you if you want to join him in spelling C-O-N-S-C-H-A-F-T-E-R across his bare chest with his other friends. Come to think of it, just make sure to go to the game fully clothed.

Now that you are at the game itself, talk to her and impress her with your overflowing wealth of knowledge about hockey.

Let her ask you questions such as, “What’s icing?” but avoid responses like, “What are you, stupid?”.

You get halfway through the game and realize that a good date is not complete without dinner. This is where the snack counter comes into play.

Ask her what she wants and she will definitely pause for a long time in indecision. She will tell you to surprise her. This is obviously a test.

If you come back with nothing but a pretzel for yourself saying, “They didn’t have anything low-fat,” you will fail miserably.

Maybe the hockey game isn’t for you so a restaurant might be nice.

This takes some research though, which also means PLANNING AHEAD (breathe deep). Go to a potential dining location (that doesn’t include the name Simpson, Harris-Millis or Cook Commons) and make sure it has many televisions in plain sight of most tables you might sit at. Plan the time that you take your favorite Valentine out around the start time of that big game you want to see.

When you get to the restaurant act indifferent that there are working televisions in each individual booth. Red Wings beat the Avs in OT: it pays to do your homework.

If you are in a long-distance relationship you have to deal give with a gift. This doesn’t have to be expensive, romantic or thoughtful for that matter; it should be something that she will instantly give back to you and say, “What am I going to do with this?” I will give you some ideas: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Super Bowl Championship DVD, a complete set of college basketball trading cards which might include a card that has a piece of Bob Knight’s sweater, an inflatable chair, a football helmet with three separate compartments that hold salsa, nacho cheese and pudding. I will let you think for yourself on this one.

When the day is done, reward yourself with a one am Sportscenter and a big pat on the back because, well, you’ve earned it.