The Vermont Cynic

A stream of consciousness regarding today’s politics

SAMANTHA GRAHAM

SAMANTHA GRAHAM

Henry Mitchell

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Ha! Trump called himself a “very stable genius” who is “like, really smart” on his twitter Jan. 6. What an egomaniac; he is totally not qualified to be president. Lemme just tweet at him the excerpt of “Fire and Fury” that says he eats cheeseburgers in bed. Now he will look stupid on Twitter.

Not that he needs me to make him look stupid; look at the whole “shithole” comment he made in the Oval Office Jan. 11. I shouldn’t be surprised that Trump wants Norwegians instead of Haitians, but having his son Eric cover up his racism by saying “he is the least racist person I know?” What a joke.

Oh that’s right, I should go see if Stephen Colbert said anything good on his show. Oh man, Stephen really made Trump look stupid with a cheeseburger joke too, nice. I’m glad someone famous is willing to take shots at him, maybe he’ll shut up if people make fun of him more.

Hmm, now people are calling him mentally ill. I guess that makes sense — I mean, I don’t see any problems with diagnosing someone with mental disabilities to get him kicked out of his job. It’s weird how psychologists have refrained from doing this since that Barry Goldwater guy, but I’m glad they started doing it again for Trump. Hello? Twenty-fifth Amendment anybody?

Who the hell is this Ronny Jackson guy and how can he be a doctor if he’s qualified Trump as “very stable?” I have no medical expertise, but even I can tell he’s bonkers. Seriously, I usually agree with experts, but I’m going to ignore Ronny because he’s clearly biased.

Oh well, at least we’re gonna take control of Congress in the midterm elections. We dominated with Doug Jones in Alabama, so now we’re gonna win everywhere else too because of how bad Republicans look.

That reminds me, I wonder if Trump’s ever gonna stop complaining about fake news. Can’t he admit it’s Fox News that’s lying to the public with fake news? Oh wait, he can’t, because they’re biased. Like, how do people not know that they’re being lied to? Conservatives really make me lose faith in humanity.

Luckily Oprah is running for president in 2020 — she is gonna save us all since her speech at the Golden Globes was amazing. I know that she has literally zero experience in politics, but she’s really smart and nice. I feel like there’s some other billionaire TV personality who recently ran for office, but I can’t remember who, or why that would be a bad idea. Oh well.

I guess I should go to bed now. If only everyone was as informed and level-headed as I am, then maybe there wouldn’t be so much polarization…

2 Comments

2 Responses to “A stream of consciousness regarding today’s politics”

  1. Andy on January 31st, 2018 2:44 pm

    Egomaniac is the main qualification to be President- Intelligence would embarrass his supporters, at least he aced the senility test that any 5 year old could pass- go get me a 5 years old.
    By eating cheeseburgers in bed, his staff does not have to clean the table and Melania does not have to sleep with him.
    Eric does not know anyone else.
    Trump does not have to know reality since he makes his own. Being a psychopath is only an illness when you intentionally kill someone.
    Ronny is a career Navy doctor from Texas who took care on young health SEALs, then became an emergency doctor in Iraq, and in 2006 Bush appointed him White House doctors. He is good at kissing a 239 lb ass.
    Watch out for fake news when Trump say believe me and visa versa.

    [Reply]

  2. Edward Smith on February 14th, 2018 9:35 pm

    This is what I call a well-written article! Very clever, unique, unconventional, and revealing! Congratulations, Henry Mitchell — you have managed to rise above the mediocrity that appears to define this publication.

    [Reply]

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A stream of consciousness regarding today’s politics