The Vermont Cynic

Despicable rule: a minion takeover

Despicable rule: a minion takeover

Daltrey Burris

May 5, 2016

It all started July 9, 2010. It was innocent enough: finally, Steve Carrell was going to do some voice acting in a children’s movie — he had a silly enough voice for it, good for him. He played a supervillain named Gru, an Eastern-European man with a massive, hawkish nose. The char...

On Montreal and tragic poutine encounters

On Montreal and tragic poutine encounters

Daltrey Burris

April 8, 2016

One of the perks of attending the University of Vermont is its proximity to Canada, a terrifying place where speeds are measured in thousands of meters per hour and milk comes in plastic bags. The main reason anyone braves these dreadful conditions is the legal drinking age, allowing almost a...

Post course info online to better inform students for registration

March 23, 2016

On March 20, SGA leadership sent a letter to the administration advocating for course descriptions and syllabi to be made available online for all classes during registration.Professors are “expected” to post expanded course descriptions before registration, but in employee contracts, lines can...

Four ways to better your Halloween

October 28, 2015

1. Don’t under-think your costumes. Every year I see the same avoidable mistakes at Halloween parties. Many groups try to do a theme costume which works well in pictures, but ends up being horribly confusing once even one person in the crew isn’t immediately around.There’s just nothing more ann...

BuzzFeed refashions culinary industry

Daltrey Burris

October 21, 2015

World-renowned winner of the Iron Chef award, Javier del Toro, stated last Thursday that the key to his culinary success was Buzzfeed’s online cooking videos. “I had always been on Facebook a lot, it was usually boring but I felt like I had to check it,” del Toro revealed. “Yet one day a person ...

There isn’t a man in your shower

Daltrey Burris

October 14, 2015

There’s not a man waiting behind your shower curtain waiting to kill you. Why would there be? That would be a terrible place to murder you in cold blood. If you’re about to shower, you’ll be naked and vulnerable with nothing to defend yourself. You won’t have a pocketknife or a gun or even your absurdly ...

Lend graduate students your support

October 14, 2015

Even the most skilled debater would have a hard time arguing the position that public research universities aren’t vital to the health of society.This is especially true in Vermont, where UVM stands as the only public research university. The professional curiosity here that is cultivated, produced and...

UVM police services blame victim

Caroline DeCunzo

October 7, 2015

UVM police services recently sent an email to all UVM students regarding a reported sexual assault at UVM FallFest. Reporting an instance of sexual assault, particularly to police, can be a traumatic and challenging experience, and I want to commend the person who had the courage to report their assault...

UVM preacher should opine somewhere else

Aleah Gatto

October 7, 2015

A few weeks ago, I was walking through the quad when I saw a middle-aged man standing on a rock, yelling, waving his arms around and holding a black  leather Bible in his hand. A throng of college students had formed around him, and for a moment I thought they were actually being touched by whate...

First-year reinvents himself as slightly different loser

Daltrey Burris

September 30, 2015

UVM first-year student James Gleeson has quickly and purposefully changed his image in the first few weeks of college. Desperately trying to rebrand himself from “the kid even the teachers bullied,” Gleeson believes his transformation has allowed him to become the gregarious, social butterfly he’s ...

On the priority of editorial autonomy

Joey Brown

September 29, 2015

An editor of any sufficient quality and merit is one who is precise in his proofreading; able to direct his writers through the intimidating jumble of competing information and stories of daily life; and who is, preferably, able to write, himself. But perhaps chief among the cardinal editorial virtues ...

UVM to hold ticketed orientation

UVM to hold ticketed orientation

Daltrey Burris

September 24, 2015

For the first time in Vermont history, the University of Vermont has offered its incoming first-years the chance to be denied entrance to a gathering. Eschewing the universally lame idea of including all of the undergrads, the college has decided to make its parties a bit more exclusive to really get ...

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