The Vermont Cynic

Four ways to better your Halloween

October 28, 2015

1. Don’t under-think your costumes. Every year I see the same avoidable mistakes at Halloween parties. Many groups try to do a theme costume which works well in pictures, but ends up being horribly...

BuzzFeed refashions culinary industry

Daltrey Burris October 21, 2015

World-renowned winner of the Iron Chef award, Javier del Toro, stated last Thursday that the key to his culinary success was Buzzfeed’s online cooking videos. “I had always been on Facebook a lot,...

There isn’t a man in your shower

Daltrey Burris October 14, 2015

There’s not a man waiting behind your shower curtain waiting to kill you. Why would there be? That would be a terrible place to murder you in cold blood. If you’re about to shower, you’ll be naked...

First-year reinvents himself as slightly different loser

Daltrey Burris September 30, 2015

UVM first-year student James Gleeson has quickly and purposefully changed his image in the first few weeks of college. Desperately trying to rebrand himself from “the kid even the teachers bullied,”...

UVM to hold ticketed orientation

UVM to hold ticketed orientation

Daltrey Burris September 24, 2015

For the first time in Vermont history, the University of Vermont has offered its incoming first-years the chance to be denied entrance to a gathering. Eschewing the universally lame idea of including...

Big hands responsible for cancer, university finds

Daltrey Burris September 10, 2015

Last week medical scientists at Johns Hopkins University released the reports of their latest long-term experiment. Through repeated trials it was shown that participants who had a larger hand length than...

Five ways to be an NBR pickup artist

Daltrey Burris April 28, 2015

The yearly Naked Bike Ride is once again upon us and, with it, all the excitement and potential for a new hook up. Here’s some simple tricks to help you get into someone’s pants, figuratively speaking. 1....

Yik-Yak, ho!

Daltrey Burris April 21, 2015

“Any cute girls trying to hook up in the library?” He leaned back into his chair, satisfied with his most recent attempt to get the ball rolling. Mike Sherman wasn’t new to this game. He’d done...

Metrosexual group wants to join LGBT

Daltrey Burris April 14, 2015

BURLINGTON, VT— In the last few days, an unlikely group had expressed its outrage toward the LGBTQA association, short for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, queer and ally. The group, which was formed...

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