The satirical view: Cynic headlines to watch out for this semester

Henry Mitchell

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“Fraternity vows not to screw up like last time, again”

“Business majors have it good for too long”

“Administration unable to eliminate cannabis from campus”

“UVM receives funding for third sports facility”

“Evil corporations still support university”

“UVM to create major in complaining about cold”

“Living & Learning housing discovered to contain neither living nor learning”

“Wellness Environment becomes Vermont’s largest city”

“Political Science major has opinion”

“STEM majors retain moral high ground on workload complaints”

“90% of term papers still done in last week of semester”

“Local RA refuses to make bulletin board”

“Climate Change still a thing, students not happy”