How to get your own cannabis as a college student

JULIA BLISS

Henry Mitchell

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The 4/20 Redstone Campus smoke-out is a long-lasting tradition passed down from class to class. It’s an important symbol of UVM culture where students from all backgrounds unite in sharing the joy of cannabis in public, in broad daylight.

Many participate every year, but some linger on the sidelines, gasping at the sheer beauty of their peers engulfed in a cloud of smoke.

Now as many of you know, UVM is trying to crack down on this event by sending students threatening emails, but do not despair.

They may win this year, but history will set the record straight. UVM students will return to smoke cannabis on Redstone Campus for 4/20, no matter how long it takes.

It is a tradition that must be preserved, so I will have to teach you how to come by your own cannabis to continue the tradition once the administration remembers it’s not a surveillance state who uses intimidation to maintain order.

1: Consider buying it from a dealer

But then don’t do it. Drug dealers are but minions of large hierarchical bodies that reinforce wealth inequalities in the world. Unless you know the person grows it themselves, don’t support a corrupt system.

2: Grow it yourself

This will be easier if you live off campus, since landlords are less eager to do health and safety inspections, and you will probably be surrounded by other students who also want cannabis.

If you do not live off campus, you could always try signing up for Sustainability programmed housing and using their garden spaces to grow cannabis.

UVM’s sustainability mission defines sustainability as ensuring “the needs of the present be met without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs” which I believe fully qualifies here, so long as the student is practicing eco-friendly gardening.

3: Get some friends

For some reason, friends will always offer cannabis to those with little experience, with no expectations of you paying it back.

Maybe it’s to get you involved in some kind of cannabis cult, maybe they just like watching people acting stoned out of their minds, I honestly don’t know. All I know is that it works.

If you do become an avid smoker, also remember that smoking with friends is scientifically proven to be less lame than smoking by yourself in your dorm with the lights out and Post Malone playing in the background.

4: Using UVM resources

UVM has a lot of great resources that you, as a proactive student, can use to come by your own cannabis.

For example, I asked a friend who is a Residential Adviser where they would suggest a student start their journey. They said to “ask your RA” or simply “ask the guy at the end of the hall.”

Alternatively, you could use the library to find materials on cannabis. I searched for “weed” on the library website and found a poem by Nicole Burney (heh) with the phraseour flower head a sun in the morning edible fit only for love despite so many teeth.

This line touched me so much, that I forgot I was trying to find real cannabis.

If I can criticize UVM for anything, I would say that the website doesn’t provide very good information on this topic. After typing “how to get weed” into the search bar, it merely suggested how to deal with invasive plants. 5/10.

5: Buy it off Amazon

I don’t know if you can actually do this, but I feel like it would work. I mean, you can buy mugs that say “Life would be so boring without Keith,” so anything is possible.