“Fraternity vows not to screw up like last time, again”
“Business majors have it good for too long”
“Administration unable to eliminate cannabis from campus”
“UVM receives funding...
The 4/20 Redstone Campus smoke-out is a long-lasting tradition passed down from class to class. It’s an important symbol of UVM culture where students from all backgrounds unite in sharing the joy of...
This has been a year of change and hope, where we finally learned to take matters into our own hands through sheer effort and dedication.
So you’re all set for finals week and totally don’t need my...
Warning: This piece is satire!
This year, I was assigned to a triple on Redstone campus. It was all that was left by the time I had a chance to select my room, and I was immediately disappointed by the...
Let me introduce our brand-new invention: Progressivism Lite!
Progressivism Lite is compatible with any Democratic candidate and requires minimal setup.
Call out Trump, choose...
Whether this is your first semester at UVM or you are a seasoned veteran, one thing is certain during this finals season: You’re screwed.
Since you’re probably procrastinating like the irresponsible...
It’s 2019, President Trump has successfully supplied firearms to the 20 percent of “highly trained” school teachers to protect students against crazy, armed lunatics.
One in every five K-12 teachers...
Dear Cherished Constituents,
It is I, your humble elected official.
As you may or may not know, it’s currently an election year.
That means that I, as well as many other humble elected officials,...
Ha! Trump called himself a “very stable genius” who is “like, really smart” on his twitter Jan. 6. What an egomaniac; he is totally not qualified to be president. Lemme just tweet at him the excerpt...
Finals are back again, and you’re going to need every bit of help if you want to remain a respected finals-procrastinator.
That’s why I’m here to get you through your exams with these five easy...
Obviously, natural disasters are going to kill us all. God is clearly angry at the American people for their actions (I mean, Hillary Clinton is a lizard person and she was almost the leader of...
Over the years, many threats to our lives have been labeled public enemy number one: alcohol, drugs, inner-city crime, Hawaiian shirts — but today I’d like to talk to you about the new and...
